The Way Children See Things! 


I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when  a 
Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark 
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the 
back seat, 'Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt! 

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd 
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the 
garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom 
and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming 
little smile, 'We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the 
toilet a few days ago.  

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from 
his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not 
necessarily those of his parents.' 


A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar.  During 
her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer 
the phone. 'It's the minister, Mommy,' the child said to her mother. Then 
she added, 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's 
hitting the bottle.' 

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker 
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing 
towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then 
asked, ! ! ! 'What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?' 

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly 
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.  The 
various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and 
wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a 
pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the 
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth 
fairy will never believe this!' 

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her 
dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 
'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the 
next morning.' 


A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting 
my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write and they 
won't let me talk!' 


A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered 
through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.  He picked 
up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been 
pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found', the boy called 
out.' What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's 
voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear